We're famous… totally famous
April 01, 2007

We are so totally mildly famous.

Seriously, there are people all over the world that think our name sounds at least kind of familiar.

It’s not easy being us. You wouldn’t thinks so, but being mildly famous is taxing, makes us tired and makes us wish that we had more time… more time to be mildly famous. But as it stands, we simply just have to try to make it through the day knowing that we are making tens of people’s lives better.

Now that the Brothers Bell network is growing and more people are jumping on the bandwagon, we’ve become more and more sympathetic to the plight of the rich and famous.

Because we are mildly famous, that makes us almost mildly rich.

Could we be richer? Sure. But on the flip side, we could also be a lot worse for wear. While we have enough money to buy everything we want, we choose not too. Aaron could, if he so desired, light a cigar with a five dollar bill. That’s how mildly rich and famous we are. We can pull shit like that off without even thinking twice about it. But we can’t buy a helicopter… yet. We’re saving up for it though.

Because of our mild level of celebrity, we’re constantly being asked to attend the hottest parties and Arby’s grand openings. People ask us to be there because it automatically proves to the world that the person throwing the party knows mildly famous people… and that’s totally cool. People know that if we’re around, some crazy shit is going to go down and the party will be, as the kids say, “off the hook.” We try not to disappoint but the constant partying gives us bags under our eyes. We’ve considered rehab but while we are mildly famous, we aren’t famous enough to land a gig at a swanky rehab center.

The thing about our level of celebrity is that we feel, in our own humble opinion, that we have some measure of talent. We aren’t just pretty faces, relying on our looks to get us through life. No. We have something to offer the general populace. We are quick with the wit, hella good dancers and we know how to work the ladies. To top it all off, we have the type of personalities that naturally draw people in. Girls want to be with us, guys want to be us.

That’s just the way we roll.

Years ago, it wasn’t a problem but now, when we’re out and about, people are always begging to for us to be in there photos. Whether it be at an amusement park, a ball-game or even just in the quaint little downtown area of our hometown – people want us in the picture. Truthfully it can get a little annoying stopping every five minutes to pose but we feel like we owe it to the people. Our people.

Another perk to being mildly famous is that we can often get away with things that you regular, not mildly famous people can’t. How many speeding tickets have we gotten in the last year? OK one, but J. Allen totally deserved it. But that’s beside the point. We still get away with shit. Trashing hotel rooms? Oh yeah we’re all up in that like a mutha fucka. Can you walk into a crowded restaurant and demand a table? You can try, but they’ll laugh at you. We do that, and they will laugh a little less hard. Last weekend we got totally screwed up on angel dust and J. Allen punched a cop in the face. No charges pressed and no jail time served. All because we are mildly famous.

Now at about this time, you may be asking yourself why we are writing a column like this. We normally use this space to “entertain” you, not brag about our position in the social hierarchy. Well, the answer to that is simple; we had nothing else to write about. Sure we could’ve written yet another column about our most recent excursion to Las Vegas, but we did that last month… and we are still recovering.

But really, we just wanted to brag a bit.