Happiness is all the rage
May 01, 2007

Happiness is all the rage.

And why shouldn’t it be? Happiness is awesome. It’s like being… happy all the time. All those lame clichés are totally true about happiness – it really does kick that much ass. Nothing is better than happiness and there’s a simple reason for that. It’s because all the really kick-ass things in life end up causing happiness.

Think about that for a second. Yeah, that shit is deep.

The only problem with happiness is that it can be a real sonofabitch to secure for yourself and when you do, sometimes it only lasts like a couple of minutes. Like eating butterscotch pudding. God damn that shit is good and for a couple minutes after taking that last little taste, nothing can get to you. Someone could walk up, cut your wiener off (or boobies for you female readers) and you’d barely notice, that is until the happiness wore off. Then you’d probably scream/cry/faint/vomit from the pain unless you bled to death really fast before the butterscotch induced happiness wore off. What a way to go though. Could you imagine your friends and relatives telling others how you died? “He died doing what he loved. Eating butterscotch pudding with his wiener laying on a table saw.” That would be pretty damn embarrassing but then again, you’d be dead so who cares what people think about you at that point.

But that is a digression and the thought of getting our wieners cut off doesn’t make us happy so let’s move on, shall we.

Now let’s get something clear. We are talking about happiness here, not love. Love can lead to happiness but just as often that shit will lead you right to the town of Life Sucks and on to the popular hotspot IWantToRipMyHeartOutville. Two totally different things, love and happiness are. You can have one without the other and sometimes you can try to hard to have them both. What happens when you are in a relationship and you do only have one? Hell if we know. If we knew the answer, we’d have both.

When we get older and happiness has grown up with us, we all know (or are told over and over again) what is suppose to make us happy. The aforementioned Love, a good job, a child’s laugh, security, wine, cock fights, Tom Hanks’ movies, a comfortable home, long vacations and easily erasable mistakes should, and a lot of times do, make us happy. But sometimes, like love, they don’t. A lot of times we need to substitute some of those things out or tack on another couple hundred to really push over that happiness hedge. Sometimes the couple hundred that we tack on are viewed as “crazy” or other people just look at us like we are “crazy” because that standard list wasn’t enough. People will think you are crazy for all sorts of reasons but doing “crazy” stuff that makes you happy and doesn’t hurt yourself or anyone isn’t crazy. That shit is smart. S-M-R-T, smart. It’s called thinking outside the box. The key though to that last point is the hurting other people part and it leads us right to our next point.

Making other people happy is usually a relatively easy (unless you’re a dick) thing to do. Get someone flowers or compliment them on the size of their package or even just let them into your lane in the middle of shitty traffic and bam! Immediate happiness. And often making other people happy makes you a little happy too. Really, it’s a win-win situation. So why don’t people do it more often? Probably because for the most part we’re all selfish dicks.

So if we can’t rely on what’s supposed to make us happy or even others to make us happy, where do we get happiness? That’s actually kind of easy. We get it from doing what makes us happy. Deep down inside, whether we want to admit it or not, we know what makes us happy. We know that spending $200 on LEGOs and taking three days off work to put them together makes some of us happy. We know that going to Home Depot and getting the supplies to turn one room in your house into a Ninja Warrior training center makes some of us happy. We know that taking a month off work to hike across the Appalachian Trail makes some of us happy. We know that taking off all our clothes and rolling through freshly watered tulip fields makes some of us happy. We know all this and a lot more yet we’re afraid people will think our happiness is crazy and they’ll judge us for it. We say screw those dicks and do what makes you happy. You know how to do it so just do it. Life is way too long to spend it miserable.

So go. Turn off the computer right now and do something that makes you happy even though the world thinks you are crazy for doing it. And if it includes being naked… just stay away from schools. Trust us on this one.