Bears!
February 01, 2008

We are icons, loved by thousands. Well, to be truthful, one of us is an icon loved by thousands. Actually, it’s Aaron (or our friend and former roommate). Aaron (or our friend and former roommate) is an icon loved by thousands. Maybe. Maybe Aaron (or our friend and former roommate) is an icon loved by thousands… in the bear community.

We just recently found this out. We just recently stumbled upon the fact that Aaron (or our friend and former roommate) is an icon in the bear community. Yes, bears have a community and Aaron (or our friend and former roommate) is an icon in that community.

When we say bear, we aren’t talking about bear bears. We aren’t talking about the four legged, forest dwelling, salmon eating creatures of the brown, black, grizzle, koala and panda variety. We are talking about the OTHER kind of bear. The ones that would have a community that would make Aaron (or our friend and former roommate) an icon. For those not in the know, a bear is… well, you know what? Let’s let Wikipedia do what it does best and define this for you:

“Bear is an affectionate gay slang term for those in the bear communities, a subculture in the gay community and an emerging subset of LGBT communities with events, codes and culture specific identity. Bears tend to have hairy bodies and facial hair; some are heavy-set; some project an image of working-class masculinity in their grooming and appearance, though none of these are requirements or unique indicators.”

That’s the kind of bear that we are talking about. That’s the kind of bear that would have Aaron (or our friend and former roommate) as an icon – big, gay, bearded dudes wearing shirts (either flannel or leather) of the sleeveless variety.

This was discovered as we took a look at some recent activity on the Scoop’s YouTube page. In the span of a couple weeks time, one of our older videos jumped in the number of views by 6,000. That’s a shitload of people watching a video that has been around for a couple years so an investigation was begun to figure out why the hell a shitload of people were all of a sudden watching this video. The video in question features our friend and former roommate giving a lecture on hunting when he spots Bubba (played by Aaron) tromping through the forest. That’s it. That’s all there is to the video yet for some reason, all of a sudden 6,000 people wanted to see it.

The investigation into this seemingly random increase in popularity ultimately led us to a website. This website was a place where bears (the gay kind, not the four legged kind) post funny videos of other bears. One of the videos featured, at least for a short time, was our old hunting video. Bears apparently think this video is really funny/arousing. To be fair though, the video features our friend and former roommate a lot more than it features Aaron. So that’s why we have to clarify throughout this whole column that while we suspect the bears are digging Aaron, there is also the possibility that the bears are digging the exotic looks of our friend and former roommate.

So there it is. As of a couple weeks ago, Aaron (or our friend and former roommate) is huge in the bear community.

And you know what? That’s fucking awesome.

Granted, Aaron is all about the poon-tang but still, to know that thousands of people think he (or our friends and former roommate) is funny/cute enough to watch his video 6,000 plus times is kinda flattering. Who cares if they are dudes. Getting caught up in sexuality issues that aren’t even yours is stupid. Being afraid of “gay” affection towards you is ridiculous. It’s the same thing as having some ugly-ass member of the opposite sex digging your shake. You aren’t gonna party with either (gay or ugly) so who cares? Not us.

At any rate, now Aaron at least knows exactly how Larry the Cable guy feels. That dude is a major bear lover… but at least Aaron is somewhat funny.